If that voice in your head were a friend, how long would the friendship last?

Yes, it’s true. I hear voices in my head. As a Psychologist, that should be concerning. But I am not talking about those kinds of voices. I am talking about the judgmental voice. The one that says to me:

You’re not good enough.
You will look stupid.
What are you thinking???
That is dumb.
You’re not worth that much.
People will laugh at you.
Are you crazy?

The list goes on. Can you hear it? No? Take a risk – any risk – and you will. It is the voice of FEAR and it exists for all of us, holding us back from truly LIVING. Making us shy away from trying something new. Keeping us in a job or relationship that we have outgrown. Preventing us from asking for a raise, speaking up in front of others, traveling to a new place, or getting on the dance floor and letting loose.

As human beings, we are great at two things. The first is rationalizing. We can come up with all sorts of reasons to stay in a job, situation or relationship that no longer suits us. And these reasons will make complete sense. We are masters at picking socially acceptable rationalizations that support the position we want to support at the time. But, these rationalizations also prevent us from getting what we REALLY want. Is that a win? I don’t think so.

Why else do we let fear control our lives? Because we are worried about being judged. Guess what? You can stop worrying because you WILL be judged. The second thing that human beings do well is judge. And those with the MOST fear are also the MOST judgmental because it takes the spotlight off of them and distracts them from their own fears. Well, let them spend their time criticizing while we spend our time enjoying life, which seems like the better deal to me.

So, how is fear shaping your life? What have you rationalized so well that even you actually believe it? Is that voice in your head serving you or holding you back?

Truth is, reality is often kinder to us than our own thoughts, so ignore the voices and get out there and DANCE.

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